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1). I remember that time you called my home phone early on a Sunday morning. I barely got to say hello before you told me to get ready because you’d be there in 10 minutes. You said we’d go to a carnival and afterwards you’d eat me out for hours on the leather seats of your car which always got stuck to the back of my thighs. My knees felt weak at the thought of foggy windows and your hot breath against my neck. I couldn’t even respond in the fear that my dad would hear so I just grabbed my bag and left when I heard your car pull into the drive way.

2). You said we were written in the stars so I looked up in the sky to take a peek and ended up burning my eyes out. It scares me sometimes that something so beautiful to look at from afar can tear your insides apart.

3). Maybe it was that summer that made me love you. Maybe it was the way you’d always wear your hair up and drops of perspiration would shine on your skin like thousands of
diamonds. Or maybe because of the way your eyes melted through my bones like a fierce cancer under the hot sun. But then when winter came, God it was freezing, it was cold just like you. Goosebumps covered your body from head to toe and stuck out like daggers. My arms weren’t your home anymore and you couldn’t touch me without slicing my arm up. But I’d hold you just as tight with one arm as I did with two.

4). In early November, we threw our razors into the sea together. You kissed my cold lips hard as the wind turned my skin blue. Nothing else mattered in that moment more than you. Now it’s almost a year later and I’m taking apart my pencil sharpeners for something much more vicious than erasing my mistakes.

5). You said my eyes reminded you of outer space when we first met and that every time you kissed me you swore you felt galaxies on your tongue. Now you’re wishing on the moon for someone else and counting new constellations with no room for me.

6). When I had a panic attack on the school bathroom and the green tiles turned red with blood, you waited for me outside and brought me home. We laid in bed and didn’t say a thing. My bed spread matched your eyes and I kept staring at it because you wouldn’t look at me. It was quiet but it was also loud too. The silence was a killer and I couldn’t tell who was more pissed off at me, the voices in my head telling me not to tell you what I did or you screaming at me for doing it again. I want to do it again. I’m sorry.

7). My therapist advised me to write my thoughts down on paper so I started etching my soul into this notebook instead of making a mess out of my flesh. But then I ran out of ink and had to use the blood from the sink instead.

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-7 Things I wish I could tear out of my fucking skull forever (via cummingcourtesy)

arkhamboundz:

Does anyone else remember playing music in Real One Player and just sitting there and watching this for like two hours

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loosur:

its fucked up when u grow up and realize everybody is on drugs..

"25 things i wish i realized while i was still in highschool"
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  1. That zit on your cheek literally does not matter
  2. Skipping class one time will not ruin your entire life
  3. The boy you’re trying so hard to impress will mean nothing to you in a year
  4. Bring coffee to school and ignore people who make fun of it
  5. Bring a snack, too. Don’t care if people hear you eating in class.
  6. Being popular isn’t and will never be something that seriously defines who you are
  7. Appreciate your teachers
  8. Doing/not doing drugs doesn’t make you cooler than anyone else.
  9. Neither does drinking
  10. Talk to the kid sitting alone; even though it may not change your life it could drastically change theirs
  11. Participate in school events
  12. Wear sweatpants everyday
  13. Or wear a dress everyday
  14. Wear whatever makes you comfortable
  15. Nobody will laugh at you if you sit alone at your lunch table for five minutes
  16. Utilize the library
  17. Don’t wait 20 minutes to text someone back just to seem cool
  18. Tell your friends how much you love them
  19. Cherish your free textbooks… seriously
  20. Help confused freshmen, be nice to them. Remember how much you would have appreciated it a couple years ago
  21. Compliment the other girls in the bathroom
  22. That fight you had with your mom really isn’t that big of a deal
  23. It’s okay to cry
  24. Don’t let your desire for a romantic relationship stop you from forming platonic relationships
  25. Remember that life does go on

(via tomlinbooties)