1). I remember that time you called my home phone early on a Sunday morning. I barely got to say hello before you told me to get ready because you’d be there in 10 minutes. You said we’d go to a carnival and afterwards you’d eat me out for hours on the leather seats of your car which always got stuck to the back of my thighs. My knees felt weak at the thought of foggy windows and your hot breath against my neck. I couldn’t even respond in the fear that my dad would hear so I just grabbed my bag and left when I heard your car pull into the drive way.
2). You said we were written in the stars so I looked up in the sky to take a peek and ended up burning my eyes out. It scares me sometimes that something so beautiful to look at from afar can tear your insides apart.
3). Maybe it was that summer that made me love you. Maybe it was the way you’d always wear your hair up and drops of perspiration would shine on your skin like thousands of
4). In early November, we threw our razors into the sea together. You kissed my cold lips hard as the wind turned my skin blue. Nothing else mattered in that moment more than you. Now it’s almost a year later and I’m taking apart my pencil sharpeners for something much more vicious than erasing my mistakes.
5). You said my eyes reminded you of outer space when we first met and that every time you kissed me you swore you felt galaxies on your tongue. Now you’re wishing on the moon for someone else and counting new constellations with no room for me.
6). When I had a panic attack on the school bathroom and the green tiles turned red with blood, you waited for me outside and brought me home. We laid in bed and didn’t say a thing. My bed spread matched your eyes and I kept staring at it because you wouldn’t look at me. It was quiet but it was also loud too. The silence was a killer and I couldn’t tell who was more pissed off at me, the voices in my head telling me not to tell you what I did or you screaming at me for doing it again. I want to do it again. I’m sorry.
7). My therapist advised me to write my thoughts down on paper so I started etching my soul into this notebook instead of making a mess out of my flesh. But then I ran out of ink and had to use the blood from the sink instead."
"25 things i wish i realized while i was still in highschool"